hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize