We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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