Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
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Found the puke drawer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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