Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize