You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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