Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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