The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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