My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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