im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Panties = found
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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