o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize