youre lurking in front of me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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