I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize