It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize