No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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