he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize