do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize