When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize