I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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