you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize