U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
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I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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