he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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