Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk

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(312): I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk http://tfl.nu/cjl6

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.

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(505): My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though. http://tfl.nu/1gr0

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(847): View more from Illinois

Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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(847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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(970): I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides. http://tfl.nu/4pjs

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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(267): When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. http://tfl.nu/7g2d

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (1930) Bad night (5967)
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(804): View more from Virginia

"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to

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(804): "Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to http://tfl.nu/kp09

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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(203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

(760): View more from California

Wow.

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(901): Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered. (760): Wow. http://tfl.nu/1wu1

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(804): View more from Virginia

there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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(804): there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule! (1-804): Wait are they playing beer pong to? http://tfl.nu/dq3n

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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(832): I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see. http://tfl.nu/uq0v

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(802): View more from Vermont

ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss

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(802): ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss http://tfl.nu/xu33

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(503): View more from Oregon

Gym?

(801): View more from Utah

Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.

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(503): Gym? (801): Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants. http://tfl.nu/eaoe

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(917): View more from New York City

There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar

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(917): There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar http://tfl.nu/udin

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(410): View more from Maryland

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN

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(410): WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN http://tfl.nu/tdjl

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