I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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