Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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