He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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