quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize