I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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