Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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