You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize