Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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