If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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