My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize