its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize