I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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