So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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