He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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