apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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