I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Randomize