This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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