I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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