I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
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Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
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How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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