Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I enjoy the company of your penis
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize