I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize