Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

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  (818): On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now? http://tfl.nu/j4yz
  Replies (35) Good night (1077) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1718) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1674) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (770) Bad night (3551) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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  (402): I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors http://tfl.nu/ajt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

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  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5702) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.

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  (217): Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation. http://tfl.nu/9spz
  Replies (14) Good night (9328) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks

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  (818): Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks http://tfl.nu/wbdh
  Replies (32) Good night (799) Bad night (6984) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

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  (807): I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight? http://tfl.nu/7h08
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  (502): Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely . http://tfl.nu/di6d
  Replies (18) Good night (4325) Bad night (1485) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

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  (916): I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry. http://tfl.nu/7tx6
  Replies (5) Good night (3293) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"

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  (530): I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting" http://tfl.nu/k1xw
  Replies (7) Good night (1899) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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  (252): Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master. http://tfl.nu/donr
  Replies (7) Good night (1020) Bad night (1660) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.

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  (719): the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand. http://tfl.nu/ekbv
  Replies (11) Good night (1538) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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  (920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (943)

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