I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize