I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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