Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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