Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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