Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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