I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize