remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I will die if light touches me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize